How do you help a friend in a toxic relationship?

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Toxic relationships in love or friendship can affect anyone. What can I do to help a friend who has one? Psychologist Dana Castro answers us.

Before giving advice on how to act when confronting a friend who is stuck in a toxic relationship, we should define what an unhealthy relationship really is. “it’s a dominance relationship Which harms the other and can not get rid of it or do without it. This creates a feeling of loneliness, lack of understanding and doubt in self-esteem, as the person is belittled or attacked.” says Dana Castro, a psychologist. “It’s a relationship where the person who’s going through it is in a victim situation but feels entirely their fault.” It can happen very early in life and is not only about love, but also about friendship and family. There are characters in bondage very early on. What if a friend finds himself in an unhealthy relationship situation? Can a person realize that their relationship is toxic? How does he open his eyes? Professional answer.

How to Recognize a Toxic Relationship: Warning Signs

In this type of situation, the person is not accepted for who he is (physically or in character), nor is he recognized for his positive points. “She is constantly underestimated and blamed for everything that is wrong with the spouses or in life in general.“A person is in a bad state, they constantly doubt themselves. A toxic relationship is also characterized by a certain pattern: “There are times when everything goes well in a couple, it’s sheer happiness. The victim has the impression that he is in his place, that he is being appreciated, but after this perfect passage (which often happens in a relationship, editor’s note) comes other times, harder with violence And insults and belittling… This is where she doubts herself, loses all confidence and values ​​herself.” This relationship is based on very strong control. Victim dependent. The relationship can be established by the narcissistic pervert or not: in any case, the “executioner” is a manipulator who knows how to play with emotions. Or he is a person with a big self with a systematic focus on his own needs and desires at the expense of the needs and desires of the other.

What should you not do at all?

Just because you notice there’s a problem in your boyfriend’s relationship doesn’t mean it’s obvious to him. “Alternating between an incredible and harmonious period where everything is fine with very dark periods of doubt does not help him to open his eyes.”Psychologist explains. Even if the manual is there for you. Periods of “happiness” serve the victim: Find excuses for the other and reduce their actions. “ This is why consciousness is so long. It is necessary at all costs to prevent a person from attending: “You shouldn’t pressure him or tell him directly that his partner is toxic.” why ? It’s a risk. “If the victim tells them about your concerns, the manipulator can isolate them further and make them cut ties with you.”

What if a friend is in a toxic relationship?

You have to put yourself in your friend’s shoes. “He may not accept what you say because it’s the opposite of what he wants. There is a strong conflict between what you say to him or what you say and the fact that she wants the relationship to work.” What is the best way to help him move away from this dependency relationship? Dana Castro advises working in three steps:

  • Talk about personal interests based on facts : “I have noticed that you are unhappy, I see you less, laugh less … You have to bring your personal feelings like that, in the form of fears so that your friend does not get angry.”
  • Show the person to change it : “Before meeting him, you were such a person… You should try to open his eyes to the changes in his behavior but kindly.”
  • stay with her In spite of everything, even if she does not want to: “As a friend, seeing someone you love find themselves in a toxic relationship is hard. Despite everything, you have to remain tirelessly supportive.” Feel free to form an alliance with very close friends until you hear the same message from everyone. It’s a long-term job but you shouldn’t give it up until your real boyfriend or girlfriend finally sees his face.

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