I tested for you: Having children and a full-time job

What do full time working mothers do with children? Chloe, our humor editor, gives us some leads (no).

When I became a mother, I wanted to continue working full time. I said to myself: it’s easy, they will go to nursery or school during the week and I will work, Totti pasta.

Suffice it to say, I stuck my finger in the elbow and the early childhood obstacles standing between me and my career are numerous. To my greatest personal satisfaction. no.

Obstacle No. 1: Tiredness and Excessive Alcohol Sobriety

Babies are notorious for not wanting to sleep much. This reputation is well deserved. I don’t think anyone realizes how much that is, until faced with it head-on. Remember when we went to work after we threw a huge party between colleagues the day before? And that we wanted to die, but still, we laughed so well?

Motherhood is the same. The only difference is that I didn’t spend late evenings locked in the pantry with Jean Baptiste, the dark barnier from the legal department.

And that the only person who laughed last night was my son, the sleepless music lover who spent a lot of time digging for songs from his personal collection.

Fortunately, some things never change: For example, I always want to die after a sleepless night and feel like I’m not going to have sex with anything today.

Obstacle No. 2: Viruses, hangover dogs

I am very surprised that our species has suffered through the centuries without antibiotics. The human child is fragile. For example, the other day I rode the train with my son.

In 1822, the little trip was to send him straight into the kingdom of God. He admitted that at that time, there were trains and especially a bloody air conditioner. But since we’re 200 years later, it ends up with Augmentin that the baby is systematically spitting in our face, unaware of the dangers of his vital diagnosis. And of course he was expelled from the nursery.

We got used to it, last week it was my daughter who was not allowed to go to school. because of ? An infectious germ, initially found in the nasal passage, but succeeded in infecting his chin.

It’s complicated. The week before, my son decided to take out 6 teeth at a time and so on, we’re going back to January 2018. Plus, I’m going to have to interrupt writing this column, because I have to go and look for an emergency my last baby whose ear is running profusely.

Obstacle No. 3: The mistress is not superhuman

Here I am again, a week later, with an ear infection and familial bronchitis. to resume.
On a personal level, I have nothing to blame Mistress.

On the contrary, she’s a saint: I manage to channel 20 raging kids while I, even two of them, have one that methodically ends up eating all the other’s modeling clay before being violently beaten up by the dark tales of Talion’s Law.

The problem is that while the mistress is a saint, she is still a human who frequents 20 mucus germ sacks a day. Suffice it to say that even with a titanium immune system, this poor master has no chance.

The consequences, not because for once in our family history, no one is sick, that my daughter will be able to go to school. And I’m working.

Obstacle No. 4: My husband whose work is essential to the survival of humanity

Hints of patriarchal society, I have always dreamed of being the companion of a brilliant man. An eminent scientist who will work tirelessly to solve the issue of global warming, a leading global expert in resolving armed conflict, in short a man who will pursue a profession essential to the survival of the whole world.

This is what happened to me! At least if the excuses of Mr. Dad who assured me he could not spend his day at all managing the children were to be believed. If he doesn’t go to the office today, his clients will have to wait another 24 hours before they can order their annual stock of office supplies.

This is simply impossible. While I’m working remotely, I can view it with one eye while I’m working, right?

Obstacle No. 5: Remote work and subsequent sodomy

According to my Instagram feed, as a mother, I’m a superhero, because I can handle a lot of things head on. I’d rather be an ordinary woman left to work in peace.

Furthermore, I swear on top of my bosom that if I hear Masha and the Bear credits again when I was just trying to finish my two hour sentence, I will kill someone. Maybe that poor bear.

As a result of the races, the bear died, but my sentence was not over after 5pm.
When the Professor Emeritus of Whiteboard Sponges arrives in the living room, I throw at him a child of the day.

Exhausted already, I begin my second day that won’t end until 11pm with a definitive but humble article, which makes me believe my future career journey has yet to arrive this year.

Good luck moms. Strength and courage.

Image credit for anyone: cofotoisme for Getty Images

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