Contempt is an attitude that it is good to exclude from one’s behavior Couple quarrels. Rolling your eyes and responding in a sarcastic tone can cause hard-to-heal wounds in your partner. Lack of respect will be one of the main signs of failure in a relationship. But if some people think that this behavior necessarily means the end of the relationship, we prefer to believe that, on the contrary, your relationship can be saved if you use it as an indicator of the end of the conflict.
Disagreements between spouses: Distinguish between criticism and contempt
Disagreements between spouses often lead to criticism and blame. It’s the moment you empty your bag and that’s normal. For good reason, these complaints are often the result of unmet needs that one does not dare to express when all is well. But the hostility present during an argument can turn these criticisms into real attacks. We may raise our voices and speak using terms such as “never” or “always.” Words can quickly transcend our thoughts and intensify an argument.
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the worst : Attack can turn into signs of contempt. Hostility can turn criticism into an attack and level dropin turn, turns the attack into contempt. “You will never succeed in any dish!” where “How can you be so stupid?” Then we fall into unjustified cruelty. partner who is to feel contempt In general, he does not dare to put an end to his humility towards his feelings.
Why be scornedRuin the couple?
Contempt is a feeling halfway between disgust and anger. It’s violent. The person causing this usually takes on a higher tone and detaches from any sympathy for the other half. You have an attitude of contempt To the person one is supposed to love is one The first signs of collapse According to the psychologist John Gottman. This is also a situation that often appears in toxic relationships. Narcissistic perverts often use it as a formidable weapon that makes their victim lose all self-confidence.
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If this happens frequently, then there is a real desire to harm your partner. but why You despise and hurt someone you love ? Let’s get what we want from him and keep it under our yoke. The only problem: It’s a very toxic attitude that proves that the couple is doing very poorly. With good reason, this situation can be a sign of a deep rejection that you don’t dare express in public. In short, we can literally talk about psychological violence.
a healthy love affair Depends on a good exchange of information. By talking and listening, the couple becomes stronger and lasts over time. To avoid falling into disdain during an argument, it is essential that you take the time to accept what your partner is telling you. It’s not just about listening with an explanation and saying “Look, I’m listening,” it’s about understanding. If his words seem incomprehensible to you, ask him to repeat them and explain them with examples.
Also, take time to think before you speak. This is certainly easier said than done. But taking the time to weigh the pros and cons of what you’re saying can avoid a lot of problems. You can also use the motivation to be dismissive as a red flag to stop arguing. Put your guns down and just say you’re too angry to continue this skirmish. If your partner is the one ignoring, just tell them that you’re hurt and that you really want to end the argument. Reply to disdain Difficult but necessary to avoid resentment. There is nothing more devastating to a couple than individual superiority at any cost.
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