There seems to be a piece of information that children pass on to each other: Parents were originally made by IKEA. And despite their human appearance (like, huh, note it doesn’t shock them to make us put up with what we’ll never tolerate), the parents are actually made of wood, leather, or electronic components. Proof in 10 points.
1. Coffee table to lean on
So, yes, of course, one day, in a moment of bewilderment, we moved to see our exceptionally wise and wonderful offspring, we had to say some nonsense like “You can always count on me baby,” well, all admit! But strangely enough, we didn’t imagine said sweetheart would take our word for it, as her prominent elbows were implanted in the most sensitive area of our anatomy, OKLM.
2. Ultra-soft armchair
It’s an incomprehensible Pavlovian reaction, all you have to do is sit for a couple of seconds to re-tie your shoelaces and presto! Now the boy saw an invitation to come and sit on you. Blame it on this ritual that you set up in the evening, at the foot of the bed, when your child cuddles up in his favorite human chair to listen to his story. Needless to say, this chair is stuck in the story and is having trouble suppressing yawning after the 14th reread…
It’s the same armchair but with more babies sitting on your legs. The main difficulty for the parent is to read the story despite the two large heads full of hair constantly falling between him and the book. And in this breach, flooded the first price sofas, those parents who do not hesitate to skip the lines, even the pages. But we see you guys (in real life: well done). And your kids won’t be cheated anytime soon (unless you can serve them the exact same abbreviated version every time).
4. Medicine Cabinet
Wipes, dolbrin, bandages, arnica, fairy serum, compresses … you always have everything on you. And everyone knows that. You find it normal. You would take the stethoscope from your Disher so that it wouldn’t shock anyone. Not even you.
It’s only natural that your kids will enjoy going over and over under this well-formed lever even though you have your legs. You have nothing to envy about the Arc de Triomphe except for its notoriety. On the other hand, sometimes you wonder what Freud might think of your child asking you to spread your legs to pass…
6. Vending machine
Candy, cake, apple juice, paper napkins, fresh fruit … the only difference with the machines in the metro or at the station is that they are free with you.
A special mention for kids who pick you up when you wake up, when you have no strength in your arms but still cling to you to start the inevitable swinging motion. Well, it’s funny, we’re not saying the opposite. But we don’t really like the little “crack” we just heard…
8. rocking horse
So, one day when you were in a park, you had the misfortune, beyond a very extraordinary parental jubilation, to put out the big game: the sound of galloping and then the neighing of a horse when it stopped, you who reared up, while the little jockey running like a kid patted your back at the same The time it suffocates you. Meanwhile, another little Joker plays a barrier that stops every 5 seconds, forcing you to lean over to give him a kiss (hopefully this kid won’t end up as a ferryman or SNCF controller). This cute and funny scene would remain so if you were not now doomed to repeat it over and over again, making you regret your excessive enthusiasm. Next time, you’ll leave this type of game to Tonton Tommy.
9. Activity mat
This is the not-so-great version of the coffee table. With an interactive part we would frankly do without him: and that he’s grinding here, that he asks if it hurts when you press here (in your opinion?), drooling in unlikely places…but you’re exhausted, telling yourself that it’s still a profession like any other and that Still nothing this kid in another corner of the apartment didn’t tell him apart.
10. Coat rack
A great added value is your mobility, compared to tacky wall hooks. You are not just a passive coat carrier waiting to be needed. Oooh no. You’re the one who gets out of school to pick up all the layers of clothing that the Tasmanian Devils leave behind, like modern day little thumbs. Sometimes you think of revenge by reselling all this on the Internet. And then, after about 4 seconds, you remember that it will be you who will have trouble the next morning, when it is time to get dressed for school…
So yes, when you become a parent you can get into this weird state of furnishing but in the case of professional retraining, it’s a good idea to take any new skill on a resume. Tell us, do you feel like a chair, coat rack or activity mat?