“It was a lot of investment, often out of great disappointment,” sighs 25-year-old Mathilde. The highly sensitive young woman asserts, “She did not have the impression that love stories were made [elle]“For years.
The student was constantly accused of being “on the edge of a cliff,” not running away from partners who did not support her in need of reassurance, or who did not share her “enthusiasm in the relationship.”
If between 25 and 30% of the population of France feels ten times as worldly, then this nature is still difficult to understand and tame. When you bump into each other in the relationship, the equation becomes even more complex: especially since, once misunderstood, hypersensitivity is one of the favorite levers of narcissistic anomalies.
But Is a person automatically hypersensitive? ?
When everyone’s bodies and minds are turned upside down by the feeling of love, how can hypersexuals love the tenth power, from first emotion, to separation? Charlotte Wells, a trainer who specializes in hypersensitivity and Stefan Klerget, psychiatrist and authorhypersensitive, hypersensitive, We answered.
Here are the six hallmarks of hypersensitivity
The severity can be frightening
Even before falling in love, a hypersensitive person will feel intense emotions. And sometimes, the first feelings of attraction are so strong that they are detrimental to the development of the relationship.
“I tend to drift quickly, even though I know it leads me straight to the wall, because the person wasn’t as interested as I was in the end. I’ve already been told I’m scary‘ Matilde admits.
Highly sensitive people will quickly drift away, manifest themselves, expect and fall from the top.
“The feelings that the meeting can cause or desires can be multiplied by ten and hard to bear. When a normal person is struck by a lightning strike, it is already a physical and mental disorder. When you are hypersensitive it can lead to stomach pain and paralysis…. These people will have a lot of trouble having an attitude that will put the other in trust, and at times they will seem like “too much,” as Stephan Clairgate identifies.
If the relationship can establish itself, it will also be tested by a power of ten by the hypersensitive, who will tend to share and accentuate themselves from the first moments of life together.
Charlotte Wells warns: “What they can serve are their expectations. They desire the feelings of the other to be equivalent to their own. There is often disappointment. The hypersensitive will drift away, expose themselves, anticipate, and fall from above.”
Matilde asserts, she films herself “as soon as there is a match on Tinder,” she laughs. “I make films and put a lot of hope into them each time. When reality doesn’t respond the same way, I get depressed,” she continues more seriously.
And hypersensitive people can quickly become disillusioned, sometimes serving their observational skills. “As they all noted, They also tend to explain everything. “He didn’t reply to me like last time, which means that…”, the coach explains.
in loveHypersensitive people are the perfect victims of narcissistic deviants
And if the opposite person is not aware of the other’s hypersensitivity and the reactions that can result from it, the relationship is compromised from the start. One of the reasons, according to our experts, it is necessary to approach the topic with the other half, at the very beginning of the relationship.
“The sooner there is evidence, the better.. It takes someone who listens and understands, and has an open mind for acceptance and reassurance. Communication is essential as a couple, but it has to be measured, because too much communication kills communication and you have to be able to live in reality,” emphasizes Charlotte Wells.
They live everything with a strong density, and the break does not cut it. Sometimes, some suffered so much that they were careful not to get involved in another story.
“I tried to explain what it was, because People know the word, but they don’t know what’s behind it. Unfortunately, once you put it into practice, it gets complicated. You have to reassure me a lot, I tend to get a little jealous because I make the scenarios and a lot of them don’t want to invest much after a few weeks,” the squeamish student laments.
And if hypersensitive people have to manage the tenfold emotions that can speed up the termination of a relationship (anxiety, romantic jealousy, etc.), they are also more likely to be prone to emotional dependence — even if not systematic, Charlotte Wells wishes to point out.
“Highly sensitive people are the perfect victims of narcissistic deviantsBecause they are easily addicted and because perverts like to be hurt, this is perfect for them,” adds Stephane Clerget..Best times to find love in 2022 according to the starsAdopt the 3C rule to make your relationship last forever
“We see that a lot, because there can also be a fear of abandonment added to it,” says the coach, who identifies that If you are very disappointed, the person can restrain himself and prevent himself from loving, or think that he can no longer be loved..
In the case of an allergy, just like a relationship, the rupture increases tenfold. “They live everything with a strong intensity, and a break doesn’t cut it. Sometimes, some have suffered so much that they are careful not to get involved in another story. This can lead to a back-and-forth relationship.” One evening, a psychiatrist.
How do we get out of emotional dependence?
Hypersensuality and Perfection: The Beauty of Hypersensitivity in a Relationship
upside down, Intolerance can turn into a real asset in a relationship, when they are not manipulated or misunderstood. Nuance Charlotte Wells: “On the plus side, a person without a new sensibility will be able to enjoy a new sensibility through their partner, there are no accounts with them, they are very complete people.”
We must not forget that hypersensitivity is also reflected on the physical level, the senses are more alert and can go hand in hand with hypersensitivity.
The psychiatrist adds, “It can be positive in many ways because hypersensitivity experiences things so aggressively, it’s very lively and colors the relationship, creating a rich emotional environment.”
In intimacy, the forgotten aspect of hypersensitivity can turn into a real advantage in bringing spouses together. “It’s almost a magical touch. I couldn’t explain in words, but the caresses of the one I love, it’s a bit like a divine hug, it alerts all my senses.‘ Mathilde smiles.
“We must not forget that hypersensitivity is also reflected on the physical level. The senses are more alert and this can go hand in hand with hypersensitivity. As we are comfortable, we open up and be a very responsive and reactive partner in a physical relationship “, defines Stéphane Clerget.
What is the partner for hypersensitivity?
But can we then articulate the idea that there is an ideal partner for a hypersensitive person?
“The other must be sympathetic and agree to put himself in his wife’s shoes. You must also be honest and upright, for a hypersensitive person is comfortable when the other is honest, doing what he says, saying what he does, without lies and confusion.” Someone who is calming but does not necessarily have to play the role of a nurse, Instead of instilling transparency, a PredictabilityStephen Clairgate advises.
He understands me more than anyone else because he is going through the same thing.
For Mathilde, the solution to “crossing the amorous desert” was to meet a hypersensitive boy. “Before I started, I thought it was a recipe for disaster, but in the end, well try. He understands me better than anyone else, because he’s going through the same thing,” t-she supports.
Contrary to what one might think, our experts validate relationships between hypersensitive people. “Hypersensitivity All together, it’s a fairly excellent idea, but we must be careful not to dissect everything. The two should be able to establish themselves in reality,” warns Charlotte Wells.
“Highly sensitive people usually go for people who aren’t, because they get along well. It creates “changing pairs”, who understand and compliment each other because they know each other’s expectations and know how to provide appropriate responses.‘, confirms Stephen Clairgate on his part.
But with hypersensitivity or not, the key to a healthy relationship remains the same: “There’s no winning formula, the idea is to find a balance, so it’s important to find your own type. First,” concludes the hypersensitivity coach.
- Adopt the 3C rule to make your relationship last forever
- Best times to find love in 2022 according to the stars