There is nothing worse for a couple than feeling that their relationship is waning. Especially if you are still in love or in love with your partner. anyway broke down It seems inevitable Take a closer look, all your previous Romantic relationship I followed the same pattern: honeymoon period Perfection, then back to reality…once. and finally, Separation. Classic style that can nonetheless be avoided
Honeymoon, Frustrations and Breakup: The Infernal Circle
After a period of so-called honeymoon From the very beginning of a romantic relationship, where everything seems so rosy, so simple and so obvious, the reality of the couple can give you the effect of a slap in the face. If there’s one thing fairy tales don’t show us, it’s how much effort we should put into building a marriage that works for everyone. All couples experience frustrations, regardless of their origin: loneliness towards one of the partners, mental burden, inability to do so. Adjust your libido… There are as many stress points as couples on this planet!
Whereas when she started, there was no cloud pointing to the tip of her nose, suddenly you find yourself regularly Argue with your partner. Small disagreements put you in all your moods and remind you of your past relationships and their failures. Is this love story also in decline? Even if it meant arguing all the time, wouldn’t a breakup be a better solution?
In a column written on MindBodyGreen, sex therapist and relationship counselor Deborah J. It evaporates: you don’t think, you react.” According to her, this is what creates irresolvable conflicts.
This is the most painful reason for separation, according to science
Understand the origin of differences to avoid separation
your turn now, Your relationship can be saved. What if, instead of running away from these unpleasant feelings, you embraced it completely, searching for its origins? If there are very few arguments and frustrations at the beginning of the relationship, it is simply because the stakes are not very high. Over time, the relationship you built together, the feelings you develop, and the influence you exert on each other can make you feel threatened, or bother you about past hurt. You can continue to immediately respond with the words you regret later, escape the situation, or get out of your situation Comfort ZoneHe wondered about your reactions to your relationship.
The specialist says:Conflict is “opportunity.” “We all experience painful experiences and disappointments in our childhood, and they don’t evaporate when we become adults.“But it is these childhood wounds that cause us to react negatively in adulthood. The strength of these past feelings can turn into tremendous fuel being thrown into the fire of your current frustrations. To quench them, you have to do a little tour of your memories to find the origin. Alone, with your partner or In couples therapy or on your own, several options are available to you.
The more you deprive yourself of these negative emotions, the more you deprive yourself of those positive emotions. Allow yourself to feel your painAnd your frustrations and research into their origins. ” Why do I feel so much pain? Why do I react so strongly to his observation? ‘, Lots of questions that will bring you life-saving answers, as does a married couple. So no, it’s not easy, but allowing yourself to cry, and giving yourself time to understand yourself, is the key to happiness in the future. Feelings are there to be embraced, not repelled. .
In fact, while many couples break up at this time of relationship, when the differences between the spouses multiply and are similar to each other, perhaps this is the time to ask the right questions to overcome these differences, heal your past wounds, and build the relationship between the two of you. I have been dreaming. It won’t necessarily be easy, but it’s definitely worth it.
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