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They find it difficult to set boundaries
One of Billy Joel’s songs talks about extremes in romantic relationships: but constantly crossing the line in real life portends serious problems. the solution? Set boundaries. Unfortunately, the term “boundary” can seem intimidating to an emotional addict who sees it as a way to isolate their partner. However, setting healthy boundaries brings people together because it encourages them to respect each other.
Boundaries can literally be something you need in your relationship to feel fulfilled. For example, your partner gives you a nickname that annoys you; However, if you suffer from emotional dependence, you may have an irrational fear that your partner will leave you if you make it clear to him that you do not want him to call you this annoying nickname. So you suffer in silence while your partner is more likely to be happy than complying with your request. More seriously, experts have explained that some emotional addicts agree to have a sexual relationship even if they don’t want to; On the contrary, they do what their partners desire. It’s ultimately not healthy for a relationship, and it’s definitely not good for the emotional addict who keeps doing things he doesn’t want to do. Establishing and respecting healthy personal boundaries can be part of the solution to overcoming emotional dependency.
If a couple has any of these red flags, there is a problem!
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They broke up and got back together
If you’re in the habit of breaking up with your partner and then getting back together, it might feel like you’re starring in an episode of your favorite series. If the TV show fire of love It’s fun to watch, you probably want a little more stability from the characters of Victor and Nikki.
What is at risk in this case? According to Sharea Farmer, social worker and owner of RS Counselling & Wellness Center, a person with an emotional addiction may be more invested in what they can do for their partner than in their behavior with them. “This person can find themselves in a cycle of breakups/reconciliations because they see that their partner ‘needs them to survive.’ For some, this may be considered normal in romantic relationships, but this person usually focuses only on improving their partner,” she explains. For a person who suffers from emotional dependence, it means that his identity is connected with the mistakes and vices of the other.
When this happens, the emotional addict feels compelled — consciously or unconsciously — to help reinforce those flaws. “So, breaking up and getting back together is only one way to reproduce this unhealthy pattern,” Sharea Farmer adds. It creates a cycle of emotional dependence that is very similar to co-dependence.”
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Make love perfect and believe it can conquer anything
You might be in trouble if you find yourself in a one-sided love situation, especially if you can’t get rid of it because you think things will end up with you. “A person who suffers from emotional dependence generally adheres to the belief that his or her love can overcome everything,” says psychotherapist Judi Sinias. She believes so much in the power of love that it also allows her to believe that she can get the desired results with the other person. The person also feels joy in the process itself; You feel happy imagining what a relationship could be like. Even if the fact of thinking about the other is pleasant, that euphoria can lead to negative feelings or gestures when she is reminded that the other person does not want to take this romantic journey with her.
This is how a narcissist reacts during a breakup.