Free or open romantic relationships are a type of non-exclusive couple. This means that the partners stay together – in the “primary couple” – and delegate to each other sexual and/or romantic relationships with other people. This phenomenon, interfering with more and more couples, is a victim of thoughts received, in particular about jealousy, fidelity and happiness of the spouses. We are evaluating.
A rising phenomenon among millennials?
In 2019, 1 in 2 men would be unfaithful in their relationship, and 1 in 3 women would “cheat” their partner. Infidelity in women which would have increased by 20% in 30 years. With the success at the beginning of the 2021 school year of several books on heterosexual abandonment (authored by Mona Chollet, Juliette Darwar, etc.), 2022 marks a growing questioning of the traditional couplethey are “forever bound”.
Romantic Relationships: Difficult Definition, Multiple Facts? Indeed, we are noticing, not among younger generations, but among millennials (individuals who became adults around the year 2000), Opening up to other paradigms, even to other love identities.
What motivates the move towards the “open couple”?
The motives for “opening up to the spouses” are manifold. can come fromInterrogation of monogamous couples, established as the only valid model by the community for generations. With this conviction that there are other supermodels, so some couples go Experience a love life in line with their principles and values.
It will be other couples motivated by “compersion”In other words, the feeling of experience When we rejoice in the happiness and freedom of the other. Also, the couple can choose to open up to find a stronger mutual sexual desire. It can also be a desire to Not getting rid of problems from a previous relationship (lying, lack of confidence, lack of authenticity). People eventually feel things within themselves and choose to Listening to oneself outside societal norms.
Jealousy is a sign of love?
The great legend conveyed by culture, media and our society teaches us that Jealousy is a sign of loveBeing an integral part of a romantic relationship. Our partner will only care about us if he feels negative feelings about us being with someone else. But These feelings are built on prejudices that can impede individual freedom : the marital relationship will allow us to own the other, but also to control it, Consciously or not. But when these feelings become too present, It can quickly become toxic to a married couple (Partner prevents the other from seeing his friends, looking at his text messages, etc.).
Then the choice of free relationship is mandatory A way to fuel feelings of jealousy. However, monogamous spouses did not protect anyone from jealousy, quite the contrary. The solution, when you find the perfect partner, is to be able to Communicate freely about feelings of jealousy. Everyone should be able to understand the source of this feeling of betrayal, insecurity or danger. People who choose to accept, share, and overcome these feelings say they have found themselves more mature and happier.
Rules for reinventing the word “fidelity” in spouses
Most extroverted couples Define rules in advance by mutual agreement, which varies from couple to couple and changes over time. Some allow one or more sexual relations outside the “primary couple”, but No outward love or romance. Sexual intercourse may be limited to Once per person outside the spouses.
Sometimes external relations cannot belong to the social circle of the two main partners: So it is not possible to choose mutual friends or co-workers. Other times it’s the opposite, you can only choose people you know.
Some people want to know everything about foreign relations, others know nothing. This is where we came up with the accepted idea One cannot be loyal in an open relationship. A free relationship is simply about redefining fidelity. Open couple can consider itBeing loyal in one’s relationship consists of telling each other about other partners they are related to. It is a matter of honesty and trust.
Communication and mutual trust will be the key
A survey published in Her Journal of Sex Research Explore whether these open relationships actually work. For this, four types of couples were questioned according to the “nature” of their relationship: monogamous, open, partially open (with more promiscuous attitudes towards monogamy) and monogamous (in which the non-monogamy of the spouses is accepted by only one partner). Among the respondents, 67.5% were between the ages of 20 and 30 and most of them were in a long-term relationship (4 and a half years on average).
consequences ? Relationship quality was higher in monogamous and extroverted couples. Members of these groups reported significantly lower levels of loneliness and psychological distress Than others, higher rates of sexual satisfaction. According to the researchers, This relationship quality has led to a good level of communication and mutual trust.
We know that communication is essential for all couples. But it may be even more dangerous for monogamous people, as they face the additional challenges of maintaining an off-the-base relationship in a culture dominated by monogamy,” says Ronald de Roge, associate professor of psychology and co-author of the study.
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