When Beck meets Joe for the first time, she takes him as a nice guy, a cute bookseller with no history. She is then miles away from imagining him as a psychopath, manipulative and perverted narcissist. You won’t realize it until after a long time…
This is the power of manipulators, they are able to make you believe that you live in a range Poetic romantic relationship when it is toxic.
Jaime Fink, a psychotherapist at the Mental Health Center, warns of the various signs of obsession with love.
Signs of a partner in complete love mania
- Your partner is very attached to you from the beginning
“The earlier he drifts, the more he talks about marriage, about children, when the relationship is just beginning, the more careful you have to be,” notes Jaime Fink.
He wants to know all about you, feed you gifts, teach your schedule by heart…what you take for compliments is actually an obsession.
at healthy relationship To be satisfied, everyone must discover themselves at their own pace, little by little. The goal is not to keep a notebook of the other’s tiniest facts and gestures. If you come across this notebook, run away!
- He seeks to save you at any cost
From the start, he has put himself in the role of a savior, and he wants to convince you that you are losing your footing and that he is there for you.
So he will constantly try to figure out how you are doing and prove to you how much you need him.
Phrases such as “But can’t you see how much I care about you?” or “You don’t realize how lucky you are to have me!” , is typical of someone in the middle love obsessionexplains Jaime Fink.
Two phrases Joe keeps repeating to Beck, especially when she doubts herself.
- trying to influence you
It manipulates you in every aspect of your life: the people you hang out with, the decisions you make, how you feel…
It does so gradually and cunningly. Do you have brunch planned with friends? He’ll start by telling you about the bad weather, the fact that they’re always late, and the restaurant isn’t great.
Until you decide to cancel the feeling that the decision is yours.
- Makes you doubt yourself
He shoots small notes, on my body, your shortcomings in this or that area, your literary tastes … but always in a tone of humor.
If you react badly, he replies that you don’t have a second degree and that you are unable to laugh at yourself.
“that it manipulative technique Until you lose your self-confidence and depend on it more and more ”, analyzes Jaime Fink.
Is he manipulative, perverted, narcissistic, or psychopathic?
- He always blames others
Once his true personality appears, he is Putting the blame on others : His ex-wife, his parents, the hardships of life he had to endure. He does this to justify his transgressions in anger, irritability, and ill will…
Then you feel sorry for him and want to protect him. Forget all his distractions and forgive him each time.
- He is constantly chasing you and he knows when to deviate from your routine.
Even if he doesn’t steal your cell phone like Joe does, your partner is watching you. He knows your code when he gets a chance Pry through your phone.
He looks at your schedule, your recent text messages, your call list… if you change your plans, he’ll be immediately suspicious because he knows that’s not what you planned.
- He contacts you several times a day
He calls you, texts you, emails you, and likes your Instagram photos. It is always present in one way or another. He wants to know what to do and with whom. Of course he’s still conservative and passes himself on as considerate boyfriend.
“They are often very jealous of your other relationships. Very quickly they can accuse you of flirting and cheating. And that’s where they try ruin your friendships and family,” explains Jaime Fink.
- He invites you everywhere and follows you
You meet him all the time and everywhere. Clear, when you know he knows your habits by heart. He always finds a good excuse to explain why he’s there.
In fact, since he doesn’t trust you, he wants to make sure of what you do. “Often these people have experienced difficult childhoodso they are very unstable and you could be in danger,” warns Jaime Fink.
If you notice many of these signs in your partner, trust those around you and try to evaluate your relationship.
- How do you recognize a perverted narcissist?
- How to get out of the clutches of the skylights?